Yesterday, my mother, in a pathetic attempt to make ‘meaningful’ conversation asked me if I was excited for the new school year. I really didn’t know how to answer the question because I’ve only been in big school for 2 years and well, it had its ups and downs. So I basically had no idea what to say. Not that I got a chance to really think about it, because she followed up with a million other questions along the lines of “You must be excited to see Anya, no?” and by the look on her face I knew that there was only one correct answer to her questions.

Anyway, it turns out all of this was stemming from a blog post she had read about getting me “ready” for the new school year. Well, here are some suggestions for my parents, and parents everywhere (let’s cross our fingers, shall we?)

 

1. Learn To Let Go

Cushion covers might get covered with ice cream, walls might be turned into works of art, back seats of cars might get muddy, expensive vases might break, nice tall statues might get used as cricket stumps and so on. Just let it go. Don’t let your possessions possess you.

 

2. Listen

All these years you’re telling me to do things and listen to you. Yet this is what happens when I try telling you stuff,

Me: Today we all had to tell a story. So I said that there was a big fly buzzing and all the animals were all trying to catch it, and Veer – the horsie, finally did and smacked it between his hands and there was blood. And then …

You: Oh acha, very nice beta.

Oh acha, very nice beta? There was imaginary blood and an imaginary fly who is now dead! If you’re listening, then really listen to me. Don’t pretend!

 

3. Fewer Play-Dates: 

Thankfully, you have by now accepted your non-existent social life and are not obsessively on facebook to simulate the lack of real post dinner conversations you used to have.  But what you have started doing is over – scheduling my life with “play dates” with kids (and whose parents) you like! While I prefer meeting my friends (the ones you can’t stand), most days I am happy rolling around in the mud by the swings with the neighbour’s dog.

 

4. Fewer Classes

Following on the theme of over – scheduling, I know you want me to be “smart” and so last year I went to Magic of MathsSwimming is a Splash!, Sway for DanceBeats (for 3 - 5 yrs), vouz parlez French and art classes.  But I really only enjoyed one class primarily because of one thing – glitter – which I was allowed to get on my clothes every single time! How about this year, I go to one class at a time and if I don’t like it we can change? I would prefer to attend art classes in Delhi or music classes in Delhi as most of my friends prefer art or music to sports.

 

5. Get Your Better Half Involved (more equally)

I love playing with Papa on weekends, but I wish I could throw a tantrum at him too! Why can’t he pick me up every once in a while? I love you, but I miss him*. 

*We understand things can be the other way round as well, with the father doing most of the child - rearing.