We’ve all heard the phrase ‘communication is the key.’ We’ve seen relationships fall apart because of communication gaps. Ironically, however, despite knowing this very well, when it comes to the most important relationship of our lives, communication is usually a barrier. While this may be okay for a while, once you choose to have children, it becomes necessary to talk about yourselves and the changes a baby has brought to your lives. Here, we discuss a few ways to talk to your husband about motherhood and its impact on your life.
Sounds counterintuitive right? As humans, if we have one major weakness, it is in wanting to be heard and acknowledged. This is even truer for spousal relations. Just as you’re new to motherhood, he is new to fatherhood too and probably doesn’t understand how your relationship could’ve changed so much after the baby. Don’t pester him to talk, but if he’s talking, listen.
2. Keep Going On Dates
The birth of a baby is not the end of your romantic lives. Go on as many dates as possible. Turn even grocery shopping into a coffee date afterwards. Taking time out for each other is a great way to ensure that you can talk freely, even on the busier days.
3. Be Open About Your Feelings
No one is a natural at parenting, and indeed, very few people instantly fall in love with their children. There’s no shame in accepting that. If it is taking a while for you to bond, consider asking your spouse to take on the baby duty so you can get some time off every day.
4. Build A Relationship Based On Trust
With motherhood come the inevitable flabby arms and floppy tummies. We will shout from rooftops that it doesn’t matter, that we’ve created a miracle and that should be enough. But we’re human, and more often than not, we have a tough time coping with bodily changes. It only gets worse when we try on that old pair of seamless jeans. Make it a point to talk to your spouse about this as well. He needs to know what you’re really feeling. Go shopping for new clothes and tell him that you need his support in this phase full of changes.
5. Ask For Help
You don’t always have to answer every dirty nappy call. Indeed, research shows that hands-on fathers are happier fathers. Pass the buck to him for chores he can do, and don’t swoop around like a hawk while he’s doing them. This goes a long way to building understanding, as also the moral that children are not raised by a mother alone.
6. Pamper Him
Everyone deserves a day off, and once you’ve both come to a place where you’re sharing responsibility and getting time off from the baby in turns, pamper him with a thoughtful gesture—a ticket to the movies, a lavish haircut (yes men enjoy the spa too!) or a ticket to that sporting event he was looking forward to being all great ideas. Soon enough, the gesture will be repaid and your bond will be even stronger.
There you go! Communication isn’t always verbal, and when you understand that, your relationship will definitely take a turn for the better.