In the traditional sense, adoption was only considered by a couple as a last resort, when their bodies gave them a raw deal. However, times are changing and more and more couples, and single women too, are looking at it as a route to gaining unconditional love when all else lets them down. Interested in adoption? Here are a few points that you might want to mull over before you take the plunge.
1. Do It For The Right Reasons
Never adopt because it makes you feel like you did a good deed and gave somebody a better standard of living. You might be gaining a lot more from the child than she does from you. Adoption must come from the heart. Go for it only once you’re sure of what you’re getting yourself into. Do not expect the child to be eternally grateful to you.
2. It’s A Long Drawn Process
Even after you and your spouse decide to adopt, it takes a long time for everything to fall into place. From identifying the agency from where you are going to adopt, to the gender of the child, to the paper work and interviews, it can take way longer than it does to even conceive a child naturally. This tumultuous time in between can leave one feeling emotionally drained.
3. Talk To Others
Try and meet and interact with other parents with adopted children. It will be an opportunity for you to understand their world. There are many support groups that you can find on social networking platforms such as Facebook, that can help you find people who can walk you through the entire process.
4. We Are Family
A child is said to make a family complete. In the Indian scenario, however, the family is not just restricted to the father and mother; there are grandparents, aunts, and uncles who may all have a point of view on a new entrant in the family. In certain situations, counseling as family is also recommended to make sure everyone is on the same page and problems don’t crop up later in the day.
5. Personal Questions Galore
We are all surrounded by curious people, in the form of nosy neighbours, a gossipy aunt or even an inquisitive maid. Once you have decided to adopt, be prepared to face a flurry of delicate questions on your fertility, the background of the adopted child and so on. Grow on a layer of thick skin or be prepared to face a lot of unsolicited advice and negativity.
Even some biological parents take time to accept parenthood due to post partum depression and the likes. Adoptive parents are also faced with this situation often. It may even take upto a year for you or your partner to warm up to the new relationship. There may even be times in your life where you will question yourself on whether you did the right thing. You need to make your peace with these emotions as they are perfectly normal and natural. This too shall pass.
Ultimately, the decision lies with you and your family. A child brings boundless joy and love to relationships. A little bundle in your arms is sure to bring out emotions from within you that you never even knew existed. Maybe that’s why adopted children are called “Heart Children”.